God allowed it…
Waking up at 2am in the morning, thinking of the people who are not exactly happy but angry, hurt and experiencing a full range of emotions. I wonder, how will this come to an end. Nobody knows. I feel for them, yet saying anything more to them might make me sound phoney – to them.
So God allowed all these? Sometimes it’s very hard to accept that God allowed unhappy things to happen in our lives. Did God allow the whole family to die on the north south highway, preserving on the the little 2 month old baby? Did God allow children to be borned premature and they have to feed through a tube and with many other tubes attached to his/her body to ensure that he/she lives? Did God allow a Christian, whose son had to suffer fom cancer and the effects of chemotherapy at a young and tender age? Did God allow things to turn nasty and for matters to escalate that some people might leave church and question, where is the love?
One side wish the other gave facts, the other side wish they gave grace. So when does it all end? Some ‘casualties’ and damage done, can all these be reversible? Can I see that smile again.
I wondered if we have made God the ’scapegoat’ by saying that He allowed all these things to happen. If God allows it, did he permit it and if he permit it, did he approve it? Absolutely not. God allowed it because God couldn’t stop man or stop him from making his choice? This will be the view of those who do not believe in God. Not my view because I know how to explain it – theologically. Sovereignty of God vs Free will. Widely debated but no conclusion – as usual.
God allowed it. What does this statement means? It can mean a thousand things. I hope it’s not for us man to find a way out of our behaviour. When it’s time for us to take responsibility, we have to. God allowed it because he doesn’t have a choice over our choice? ? ? God I don’t want to be rude but I just need to see some cohesiveness with what I think and what I feel. It seemed grossly inconsistent.
Why am I so bothered by those on the otherside? I just feel for them but my mind tells me what I should think. It’s always this feel and think tension within me. I just pray that God’s grace, love and will reign over our emotions. He is still in charge finally. God what do u say?
micromanage
Why do I feel that my idea is often ‘thrown back’? A question of timing? A question of significance? Who decides what is the best timing, who decides what is significant? The same words can be used by everybody but the meaning applied can be very different.
For me my idea differs greatly. How can 2 hours of celebration, lose its significance? What is considered long drawn? The time or the content of the celebration. It’s getting harder for me to get through without putting up a ‘resistance’. Maybe I am sensitive, just maybe. If the situation is well planned I don’t think the significance will be overly long drawn – again it boils down to perspectives, how you see it.
If a person micromanages… what does it tell me of the person? Control?
5 – 9 March 2008
Thank God for 5 – 9 March 2008. After a lapse of a year and a half, i am back to Timor Leste.
I am currently blogging from my hotel room, using the remaining credit of the wireless card which the HK business people bought, which they gave to me as they were departing for Bali today.
It has been once again a tremondous experience of seeing top business people, having a heart and wanting to play a part in this nation building process. It’s amazing that I can eat lunch next to a banker and joke about the ‘mega mall’ with the CEO of a listed mobile company in China. With their status and reputation, it’s even more amazing that before the eyes of God, we are all the same. Servants for the kingdom of God regardless of who we are in the eyes of the world.
We met with ministers this trip, sat with business people and the missionaries who are really getting their hands into the dirt and dust.
Ps. Ed from ICA HK shared today about the beggar at the gate beautiful, asking for money from Paul and Silas. Paul and Silas’ reply were, “Silver and Gold I do not have, what I have, in the name of Jesus, walk”. He talked about not coming here just with the resources but in the name of Jesus. During the time of prayer, I was reminded that Timor Leste is like the cripple beggar. Crippled in so many ways and thinking the only solution to his problem is money i.e. ‘aid’. Yet the greater need for her, is the name of Jesus. We need to tell ‘her’ in the name of Jesus, get up and walk. I pray that that missionaries will be empowered by God in a very special way. They will always have a space in my heart and I will continue to pray for them after I return home.
God has been good. Too good and I am lost for words really. After this trip, I know my truest deepest passion and I pray with all my heart that God will make a way, not how I want it to be but how He wants it to be. Man can plan but God disposes.
Lord, I will remember your goodness and love.
