thoughts on words and meanings
Maybe it’s because my lack of language that causes the inability to express meaning thoroughly through them. After reading someone’s blog today, I feel too inadequate to blog. He is simply too good with words that can convey with decimal accuracy what he meant.
thoughts..
Words do not always convey meaning. I can say and mean another. You may attempt to guess. But if you guess wrongly, it’s not my fault, it’s yours because you are not able to grasp the essence of my words – just too bad.
People who made a difference
As I was recalling my past, how different people made a difference in my life. I could think of some names and people who had encouraged me and cheered me on in my journey. Here are some of them, not in order of importance.
Jaime Ng – She was the person who did follow up with me. I remembered there were times I was naughty, did not want to go for service, sat outside church. She was the one who often patiently persuaded me. If she had not persisted, I might have dropped out of the race. In my infancy stage as a christian, she nurtured me. I remembered asking her why Jesus said this, “Not everyone who calls me Lord, Lord will enter the kingdom of heaven…” As a new christian, I was often touched by God’s word and each time I respond to the altar call, Jaime would be there, to pray with me and lend me a hand. Thanks Jaime
Jordon Lee – He was my group leader in my first ever youth camp. My sister had persuaded me to attend the camp. It was he who shared with me that it is easy to walk closely with God in the camp because we spend so much time with Him. The real test will come when we get out of the camp, when the storms come that I need to fix my eyes on Jesus and not waver. Thanks Jordon.
Brandon Teo – the cell group leader of Shammah. He was the one who always kept an eye on me. I had problems fitting into the cell group because I was mainly mandarin speaking and I couldn’t click with the rest of the folks in church. He told me to attend, try it out and see what happens. I took his advise, tried attending the cell group and “tada” – I stayed on. He was also the one who challenge me to play guitar and always encouraging me to do better. Thanks Brandon.
Justin Koh - He was one I looked up to a lot. To me he is my model. I recall that often in service, he would kneel before God to worship. He was one who demonstrated great spirituality not to impress but an overflow of what he felt truly in his heart. He told me at a camp that persistent prayer is like hitting hard against a brickwall. The first blow is not enough. The first blow can only crack the wall but not strong enough to demolish it, the brickwall must be dealt by many blows before it can crash. Persistent prayer is to keep hitting against the target and not give up until the brickwall is levelled to the ground. Thanks Justin wherever you are.
There are many but these are the 4 whom I could recall without any effort the things they said that made a difference to my walk with God at my infancy stage as a Christian. I pray for God’s will to be done in their lives and that they may live in His bountiful blessings.
spade or diplomacy…
If you had to choose between friends who tell you the truth in love or friends who would prefer to not tell you the truth. What would be your choice?
I prefer friends who tell me the truth in love. I hate to wear a mask and would prefer to call a spade a spade. It’s what I prefer people to do to me as I would prefer to do to others. Diplomacy gets in the way and suggests that I should call a spade by another name. The problem is I don’t know how to do it. If I can find another word for spade, it’s not me anymore. I would feel so superficial and ungenuine to myself and to others. I can’t sugarcoat my opinions very well and that’s when I get into ‘trouble’. I am unable to come under the guise of diplomacy and mince my words because how I appear to others is of least importance to me. What’s important is facts get communicated. People may not like it and that’s not something I can control. If I am one blunt nut, so be it. I don’t want to pretend to be diplomatic especially when I am not.
There is room for diplomacy. That’s when I study the situation carefully and finally coming to a conclusion. That’s when facts are murky and clouded by many layers of uncertainty. Maybe I should shroud diplomacy with a hint of sacarsm. That would really be under the belt isn’t it?
My husband is really a more diplomatic person. If I do not want my opinions to be heard by others, he is who I go to. 
1 Nov 07
First entry.
Today marks my 2nd wedding anniversary. However, my husband is away from me as he had to bring his table tennis students for a training exchange program in Taiwan.
We have never been away from each other for 10 days. The max was probably about a week or so with weekend in the middle of the week. The separation while temporary brings me into deep contemplation about treasuring and not taking your love ones for granted. Perhaps the space and distance are neccessary components for deep reflection to take place. It has and I suppose it will be for the next few days. It’s good to feel that missing feeling once in a while, when life’s routines come to an unfamiliar halt – it’s time to smell the flowers.
